Sunday, August 09, 2009

Top 10 Penis Names Based on Marvel Superheroes

Some men name their penis. Some don't. Regardless, it just so happens that many superhero names also make perfect penis names. Some names just don't work (Invisible Girl, Puny Banner), others work eerily well. What follows is a scientific survey.

The Top Ten

10. Iron Man (alternate: Shellhead)
9. Black Panther (alternate: T'Challa)
8. The Thing
7. The Human Torch
6. Mr. Fantastic (alternate: Stretcho)
5. General Thunderbolt Ross
4. Doc Samson
3. Mjolnir
2. Cyclops (alternate: Scott Summers)
1. Jarvis

avengers 201 cover jarvis penis polish hammer

This is just such a great cover, with the penis-like Jarvis brandishing a vacuum cleaner, Thor polishing his hammer, and The Beast crouching at crotch level with a knowing look in his eye: the cover fairly screams, "This comic is about penises!"

(Spider-Man villains also make great penis names, with The Vulture being a shoe-in for #1.)

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